


i'd do it for the love

by charmandu



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Future Fic, M/M, post-disbandment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 06:50:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18138830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandu/pseuds/charmandu
Summary: Minhyun hopes to patch things up with Jaehwan after four years so what better way to do this, you ask? He requests for Jaehwan to make him a song, of course.





	1. Produce

**Author's Note:**

> [please understand that i am no way implying that Minhyun left his group, he was just merely given an opportunity to promote alone for some time. probably similar to jennie's case]

"Have you heard from Swing?" Minhyun asks his manager over the phone, a little louder this time because his manager chose to ignore him the first time he asked. He’s sitting on the coffee table weirdly placed in the terrace of his own condo unit in uptown Seoul. Little boxes of lights that seemed to morph into tiny circles when Minhyun stares at them too much occupy his mind. His boss sighs on the other line.

“This is just cruel, Minhyun.” He looks down mechanically, shame slowly creeping in his skin like the chill of mid-November air. He feels numb at first but the thought of Jaehwan and  _ what he did _ made him feel things, even if it was in the negative side of the quadrant. He isn't proud but he wants to make things right. And that is enough at this point, right?

He faces down on the table, the cold glass immediately colors his cheek pink when he slumps forward, almost similar to a student giving up his education for a 30-minute nap. The phone is still on his ear and he can feel it getting warm. 

His manager continues. “I don’t even know what you’re expecting. If you want to reconcile I'm sure there are a lot of other ways--a lot of different avenues.” The manager sighs heavily, as if he’s giving up all the years he’s worked with Pledis. “Asking him to write the song for your solo debut isn't… isn’t actually the best way.” Minhyun's manager now sounds annoyed and his disappointment hangs in the air. 

The reality of his situation is apparent to Minhyun. He knows it's too late--he is a lot of years too late--but he's too determined to acknowledge the fact that _Jaehwan is really gone_ unless he tries. Minhyun’s heart doesn't understand the concept of moving on with time so he hopes that there is still something, just a small space maybe, dedicated for him in Jaehwan's heart. 

After all, they were close at the start of Wanna One, right? Though the word “only” stings a little too much from what he’s expected, he accepts it. Maybe they could be together again as he starts a new path. 

“It's too selfish.” Minhyun's manager breathes on the phone, “And if you don’t understand it, I’ll say it again. It’s too selfish, Minhyun. You don’t know how he’s feeling now and stirring up the water like this might just make the lake more unclear or worse, it could wake some sleeping monsters underneath it and I don’t know if you’re ready to face it. We’ve established that you’re not that type of prince. Aish!” Minhyun realizes that his manager is like he's his conscience; so he hears him but he doesn't actually listen. 

“Are you hoping that you’ll get a love song from him after what you’ve put him through? I don’t get it, Minhyun.” He hears a grunt too low that it causes a short vibration from the tiny speaker of his phone.

Minhyun closes his eyes to absorb his manager’s words and it gives him a bad rerun of everything that’s happened between him and Jaehwan, from Produce 101 to promoting together, before leaving him completely after Therefore. The quasi-relationship wasn’t really the best and he’s been leaving Jaehwan mid-air with no parachute, no trampoline, and no net to catch him when they were still “close.” He didn’t even contact him after concert and he did his best not to engage whenever they meet up every August 7. He acted civil and now he realizes how close the word is to evil. “I’m an asshole.”

“The poor boy…” Minhyun’s manager starts. “He doesn’t deserve this.”

It took a long time for Minhyun to see that what he did was wrong, and a little longer for him to admit that it was, actually, wrong.

“Just let me know when you hear something.” Minhyun is in the middle of a debate, of arguing with himself if what he did was worth it or not. He wants to patch things up with Jaehwan and to be honest, there are other ways to do this, but if music connected them the first time, he is hoping that music would do its magic again. Maybe this time, he could set everything right.

The letter, addressed to the song production department of Swing Entertainment is already telling. In Minhyun's defense, he  _ wanted  _ it to seem official (however unprofessional this is), with no ulterior motive or whatsoever. Though he knows Jaehwan is smart and he'd probably know this is something more than the hype of a collab between former Wanna One members, he still took a risk. 

Closed eyes, he pressed ‘send’ two days ago, marking the start of his agony in waiting for the other party's reply. It brings him back to the nervousness of waiting for the results each time they perform for evaluations. It’s nerve-wracking and it makes him sweat.

It's not until two days more that he receives a message from his manager. “Swing agreed.’

Minhyun replies with a shocked sticker before he manages to write  _ words _ . “I can tell that there's a but.”

“You ask him personally.” 

Minhyun almost drops his phone.


	2. To Be One Part 1

From an outsider’s point of view (or at least how Minhyun would want another person to see the situation), he’s brave. He’s made a move and there’s nothing more valiant than taking a step forward. Right?

He is excited and scared at the same time and Minhyun has to be careful in deciding whether to ask Jaehwan as a professional or as a friend.

Inviting Jaehwan to a nice restaurant might reveal everything he’s tried to hide since he wrote the letter. Being alone with him in an ambiance suited for being genuine and honest might lead them to talking about what happened to them. Minhyun scratches his nape, in deep thought. If people would see them out, the rumors might give Jaehwan additional burden to think about and that might result to Jaehwan rejecting his request.

On the other hand, dropping by at Swing Entertainment would mean consistency, that the request is purely for business and business alone. However, it takes away the sentimentality of the bond they formed when they were in Wanna One. It’s like he’s just using him, using their relationship to get what he wants and it wasn’t a good picture to paint nor a good portrait to be included in.

Minhyun is stuck in a battle of consistency and of pushing through with the plan he had in mind versus making Jaehwan feel genuine and earnest emotions from him: that he’s really trying; that he’s really putting an effort to bring them back together.

He wants to make him feel that Saranghae Team should be endgame. Power of destiny and all. He hopes he could make things work.

So he puts on his business face.

Minhyun drops by in Jaehwan’s agency after knowing from his manager that Jaehwan would be at the office all day, lurking around his fancafe in between training and songwriting sessions. He’s clutching on a cake from Itaewon, the same cake the staff gave to Daniel during his birthday in MAMA. Minhyun smiles as he remembers how Jaehwan only smelled the cake through Seongwoo because of his diet.

He’s so nervous that his palms sweat. He doesn’t understand the sweating at first as it was in the middle of winter but the amount of coffee he took this morning might be the culprit especially since he wasn’t able to sleep at all last night. God, it even took him 30 minutes to decide on what to wear.

The plan is in motion and he couldn’t do anything but _not chicken out._

It’s been four years and there still are familiar faces in the office. He nods to them, bowing slightly to make them feel that he hasn’t forgotten about them. All of the staff he greeted told him Jaehwan’s at his own studio. Everyone knows he’s here for _him_ and it crosses his mind that maybe Jaehwan is also anxious like him and probably told the staff about the unlikely meeting. But then again, there are no other reason for Hwang Minhyun to be in Swing but for Jaehwan, so he marks the possibility out.

He wishes for someone, a drummer maybe, or a producer, to be with Jaehwan so that it wouldn’t be awkward to meet him. Minhyun mumbles a prayer that Jaehwan is not alone.

He is.  

Opening the door to the studio isn’t supposed to be this hard or as heavy but it is. Pushing the door seems like there’s air being sucked in a vacuum and to be honest, he feels like there’s a dementor sucking the life out of him. It’s like his soul left his body to watch him die of shame.

Minhyun waves at him and Jaehwan raises his hand to wave back. He is wearing a beige sweater and a black denim pants, rubber shoes tiptoeing on the floor. He is sitting on a beatbox, a pen safely tucked on his ear and a small notebook in his hand. “Hi hyung. It’s been a while.”

Minhyun could see a faint smile, almost hiding the sad tone in his words. He hates it for it reminds him how bad he is as a hyung, as a lover (if Jaehwan even considered him as one).

“Yeah, hello. It’s been a while.” Though he tried to be more cheerful, Minhyun just sounds desperate. He offers the cake down on the carpeted floor, almost in front of Jaehwan.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to, you know.” Jaehwan’s cheeks are thinner but it still look so soft.

“I was hoping we could eat it together.” Minhyun gulps almost too loudly, he was afraid Jaehwan would sense his nervousness.

“Oh yeah, in the pantry. Sure. Let’s share it with the others too.” Jaehwan is about to stand up when Minhyun brings up _business._

“Uhh, about the song.”

“Yeah, about that.” Jaehwan sits back and hums a tune for a second or two or more, Minhyun doesn’t really count because he is lost in it. He has forgotten how his voice feels so good. He can’t believe how his voice still feels like he is being welcomed when he had left him alone at very depressing times. Jaehwan’s voice never fails to make him feel at home.

They look each other in the eyes and for the first time in a while, he doubts that Jaehwan looks at him with anger. For the past years, in awards shows, he assumed that he did only because he should. He’d convinced himself that Jaehwan hates him because he has every right to. Looking at him now made him sure that everything might have just been his guilt eating him up. He knows Jaehwan wouldn’t get mad at him, and he probably knows it too well.

He did not plan this part and he doesn’t know what’s next.

Jaehwan breaks the silence first. “What do you have in mind?”

“At first, I was thinking about a collaboration, like a duet. You know the fans have been requesting our duet since the first season of Go.” Minhyun waves his bangs to shake off the tension.

“But?”

“Now, I am hoping you’d write and produce the song and I’ll sing it.” _Selfish._

Jaehwan puts the guitar he was cradling on his lap back to its stand before finally resigning. “Hmmm, okay.”

“Uhh, as for the profit…” Minhyun pauses, noticing how Jaehwan’s body stiffens with the new topic. “We’ll pay the royalty and other fees, and we’d like to give a percentage from each successful streaming.”

Jaehwan looks down on his feet. “You’ve really thought of this hyung.”

“Oh, umm. I didn’t want to come unprepared.” Minhyun puts his hand on his nape again.

“I was actually asking what do you have in mind for the song. Like, will it be ballad, pop, rock?”

Blush blooms in Minhyun’s cheek. He lets out a sigh of disbelief in himself.  _Stupid Minhyun._

What Minhyun didn’t realize was that everything was purely one-sided and with no regards of how Jaehwan would feel. This was probably what his manager was telling him. Minhyun thought everything was calculated, all of it according to the ingredients he thought would cook the perfect reconciliation cake--but it’s not. He wasn't done planning everything out but at least he thought he was in the right direction. Now it just seems that he is as lost as when he started.

The current situation feels like a great mismatch of energy--he was too professional, too ‘let’s get down to business’, that he forgot the goal of starting this in the first place. He didn't see that it's not black and white, and that he could be professional while still being careful of the other's feelings.

Jaehwan seems sincere with his acceptance of the arrangement and Minhyun feels more guilt. As Minhyun thinks it’s too soon to give a hint about wooing him back, Jaehwan speaks up.

“Hyung, I would just like to be clear. I’m not agreeing to this because of money. I’ll do it happily for the love.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic's title was supposed to be A Song For You (this has been in my drafts since December 2018) but I changed it because people might react negatively because of Nu'est's new song and this fic's theme. 
> 
> (but have you listened to it huhu it's beautiful)
> 
> please let me know what you think, i'm still active in both twt and cc.


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